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 Naughty Boy switza

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PostSubject: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:48 am

Naughty Boy switza



switza you have been a bad boy







Cameras have caught you multiple times dry humping your fellow House Guests's pillows. This is frowned upon and you will have to suffer the consequences.


Here is what you have to do as your punishment. If you fail, you will be unable to vote in the next 2 evictions.


Number 1: I need you to write 300 words about your fellow House Guests (each) and post each paragraph on this thread (There are 8 left other than you so I need 8 times 300 words)

Number 2: Everything you post until veto has to be bold. Even in your diary room

Number 3: Every time CherrySnow posts until the next Power of Veto challenge, you have to post rendeer. So if by veto she posted 12 times, I need to see 12 posts from you with that emoji. It has to be on the threads she posts.



Ask if this isn't clear and for the love of Baby Jesus, leave the pillows alone.
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switza



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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:51 am

you've got to be kidding me

do the emojis have to be in different posts?

so if she posts 1 second before you post the veto and I don't have to respond this will all be a waste of time?
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:52 am

I won't be a bitch lmao. I wouldn't count that.
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:52 am

Yes different posts
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:53 am

For the CherrySnow part of the task, I will let you post during the veto challenge. Just has to be before veto ends.
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:53 am

do the 300 words have to be logical about each person?
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:54 am

No as long as they are actual sentences. I don't want just 300 random words. I don't care if you make stuff up, just make it readable.
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:55 am

HAI ADAM STOP HUMPING MY PILLOW.
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:55 am

ADAM I KNEW IT WAS YOU HUMPING MY PILLOW!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:56 am

rendeer

this is so dumb
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:57 am

On the bright side, they can stop saying you don't talk to them after the 300 words you will eloquently deliver each of them. <3
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:59 am

Mine is gonna be 300 words made up of two words... "FUCK YOU"
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 1:03 am

Also in the spirit of not being a total bitch, since you can't edit posts, just PM me if you make a mistake and I'll edit it for you.
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 1:12 am

Admin wrote:
On the bright side, they can stop saying you don't talk to them after the 300 words you will eloquently deliver each of them. <3

I'm fucking dead. You are so savage Kathy
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 1:17 am

I don't think I've ever said a bad word about any of you, so I'm not going to start now
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 1:21 am

you haven't as long as I've been here. ^_^
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 1:28 am

I also want to make it clear this is mainly for fun. Yes if Adam puts no effort at all, he will be penalised. But I won't knit pick either or deal with people bitching he is missing 1 word, wasn't creative enough, etc or whatever. Just want to make that clear.
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 5:08 am

If anyone can do this, Adam can.

He actually reminds me a lot of myself when I first started.. lol. good at challenge but had a lot of questions!
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 5:08 am

challenges*
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:16 pm

This is better than 300 words about you individually. Copied and edited from some website with fake movie scripts. I just randomly threw in the names, so they aren't meant to match anyone specifically.

If it doesn't count, oh well I'm probably getting voted out anyway so I wasn't getting punished for failing.

Also this might be some sort of spoiler if you haven't watched this movie.




THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (2016)

The Abridged Script

FADE IN:

INT. CHURCH - TINY OLD WEST TOWN

A TOWN MEETING is in progress.

TOWNSPERSON
Seems that rebooting old Yul Brynner cowboy movies is all the rage this year, so, here we are. Our first item of-
KATHY
(barging in)
Listen up, I am super duper evil! Either sell me your land for $20 or I'll kill you and take it! To prove I'm serious, gonna burn down this church and kill a dozen of you. Why I don't just murder the whole lot of you is anyone's guess, since I own all the law in this town.
KATHY and her GOONS gun down a bunch of townspeople including TOMCAT MURR!!

TOMCAT MURR
Arrghh, not even my eerily fluorescent blue eyes could save me!
(dies)
INT. WILD WEST SALOON - ANOTHER TOWN

SPOOKY33 enters the SALOON wearing his super cool all-black Western outfit, and approaches the BAR, his head lowered all suspenseful-like. In the corner SOCO-81 is playing cards, and uses his SCRIPT-O-VISION to instantly figure out that SPOOKY33 is the good guy he should throw his support behind.

BARTENDER
What'll you have, stranger?
SPOOKY33
(slowly tilting his head upwards until his eyes become visible past the brim of his cowboy hat)
I'm here to collect a bounty. On you.
BARTENDER
Oh. Guess I'd better reach for a gun and defend myself. Why didn't you just walk up and shoot?
SPOOKY33
In this movie action can't just happen. Gotta have a slowww buildup to everything. It's part of the homage, if you don't believe me check the script for the 1960 version.
SHOOTING breaks out during which SPOOKY33 and SOCO-81 kill the BARTENDER and the BARTENDER'S BUDDIES! SPOOKY33 and SOCO-81 then part company all nonchalant since SPONTANEOUS MURDER was basically the equivalent of LOLCAT VIDEOS for this time and place.

EXT. AT THE EDGE OF TOWN

SOCO-81 tries to leave but is stopped by the GAMBLERS he beat at CARDS.

GAMBLER #1
Dang you Soco-81! We're robbin' you! And then killin' you! Which would be much easier to do in the opposite order!
SOCO-81
Okay, wait wait wait. Let me show you a card trick? Clearly I want a dumb magic trick to be my last act on Earth, this isn't a staggering obvious ploy to stall for time and turn the tables on you.
GAMBLER #2
Gorsh, yes! Lemme see!
SOCO-81
Okay, pick a gun, any gun. Now, WITHOUT showing it to me, put the gun back into your mouth. Everyone sees how I have no idea which gun it is, right? Okay, now visualize the gun you picked, and pull the trigger.
GAMBLER #2
(head explodes)
SOCO-81
Ta-da!
GAMBLER #1
Oooooh, you may have got out of this one Soco-81, but you'll regret leaving me alive! You haven't seen the last of me! I shall return!
(never returns)
Elsewhere in town, SPOOKY33 is approached by CHERRY and JESSEREBEL.

SPOOKY33
(slowly tilting his head upwards until his eyes are baaarely visible past the brim of his cool cowboy hat)
How can I help you?
CHERRY
The evil Kathy killed my husband Tomcat murr. Her evil army are gonna take our whole town. We heard you had some experience in defeating small armies of vicious killers all by yourself so we'd like to hire you.
SPOOKY33
(distant look)
Kathy, huh? ...Yes, I'll help you defeat that Tomcat murr-killer. But I feel compelled to find exactly... six other helpers.
JESSEREBEL
Against a small army? You sure that's enough? Maybe we could try to round up a couple dozen men-
SPOOKY33
(steely gaze)
EXACTLY... SIX... MORE.
SPOOKY33 finds SOCO-81 trying to buy back his HORSE.

SPOOKY33
Hey Soco-81, if you help me with a suicide mission, I'll buy your horse for you. Don't think about how you'll manage to use the horse after the suicide mission.
SOCO-81
Done and done! I'm very attached to this particular horse. Our backstory is, clearly, a key facet of my character. I'd elaborate but instead, how about I never talk about this horse ever again.
SPOOKY33
Sounds good. Now that we've joined forces, let's split up! Since we've just met I have no problem trusting you with finding half our team.
EXT. UNASSUMING CABIN IN THE WILD WEST

SPOOKY33 and CHERRY approach and find a DEAD DUDE, and while processing this KYOGRE gets the drop on them!

KYOGRE
Ha, I have you now, feared bounty hunter! Whaddya say to that?!
SPOOKY33
(slooowly tilting his head upwards until his eyes are juuust baaarely visible past the brim of his super cool cowboy hat)
If you join us, I promise that I won't come looking for you.
KYOGRE
But if I just shoot you dead right now, that seems like an even more fool-proof way to stop you looking for me.
SPOOKY33
Don't be silly. You know how much star power and Plot Armour I have, I could kill you dead ten times before your bullet even left your gun.
KYOGRE
Good point. Sign me up!
EXT. ANOTHER WILD WEST TOWN, AND I'M PRETTY SURE THEY WERE ALL INTRODUCED WITH SUBTITLES BUT REALLY THEY'RE PRETTY INTERCHANGEABLE SO LET'S CALL THIS ONE "FRAGGLE ROCK"

SOCO-81 and JESSEREBEL enter the town, and find DNASHOBVIOUSLY taking bets on a fight between SHRED and the traditional unnamed goober opponent.

DNASHOBVIOUSLY
Step right up, place your bets! Who's gonna win this brawl, the cocky burly blundering extra, or the quirky unconventional foreign film star? Place your bets, people!
TOWNSPEOPLE
Oh come on, we weren't born yesterday. Everything on Shred.
SHRED WINS the fight in the requisite super-stylish fashion.

DNASHOBVIOUSLY
Aaaaand I'm broke. Guess we'll throw our lot in with you Soco-81!
JESSEREBEL
Awright! So now with me, Cherry, Spooky33, Soco-81, Kyogre, Dnashobviously, and Shred, we've got our new Magnificent Seven! Let's go kick some-
SOCO-81
(laughing)
Oh that's so hilarious and ADORBS, no no no, you and Cherry don't count, we gotta keep looking. Hm, who else is sufficiently rough and manly to join this squad... oh hey, Mykee was awesome, is he available?
MYKEE
I am! And to further enhance my gruff imposing presence, I've swallowed a helium balloon.
(squeaks)
EXT. HARSH ROCKY TERRAIN

The gang REUNITE and make camp amongst some GIANT ROCKS. SWITZA shows up playing a COMANCHE WARRIOR, so SPOOKY33 goes to talk with him.

SPOOKY33
(slooooooowly tilting his head upwards until his eyes are juuuust baaarely visible past the brim of his VERY super cool cowboy hat)
Hey there.
SWITZA
Hi. I've been sent out on my own, to find a "different path", whatever that means. It's either some kind of spirit quest or they're angry about me hogging the body paint again. What are you up to?
SPOOKY33
You remember those people who took away your peoples' land? Well some even WORSE people want to take that land away from THEM. And we're gonna defend the first people from the second people.
(pause)
Sooo.... wanna help?
SWITZA
Okay. Just don't stick a cartoon of my face on a sports team and we're good.
EXT. ORIGINAL WILD WEST TOWN WHERE CHERRY'S FROM, LET'S CALL IT "RIVERSONG"

SPOOKY33 and SHRED stroll into the middle of town to confront all the evil lawmen.

SPOOKY33
(ever soooo sloooowly tilting his head upwards until his eyes are juuuust baaarely visible past the brim of his VERY QUITE COOL INDEED cowboy hat)
Hi. We're gonna kill all you guys now. But first we thought it'd be fun to give you the chance to quickly murder the two of us before we start.
Of course the evil lawmen mess up their chance to kill SPOOKY33 and are promptly BUTCHERED TO DEATH by the combined awesomeness of the MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, the same way that the GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS crushing a team of DRUNK FIFTH-GRADERS would be awesome and magnificent.

INT. ESTABLISHMENT AT ANOTHER WILD WEST TOWN, HOW ABOUT "DAS BOOT"

The lone survivor of the last scene, TOM_DELONGE_AVA, reports back to KATHY.

TOM_DELONGE_AVA
Boss! Boss! Some men came to town and killed all the evil deputies! They only let me live so I could come tell you, and take the advantage of surprise. Also the audience was dangerously close to forgetting you even exist, so...
KATHY
Huh? Oh yeah, I forgot too. What's my role again? Right, I'm evil. WITNESS MY EVIL, AUDIENCE!
(kills Tom_delonge_ava)
Okay, someone let me know when it's time for the final showdown. I'll be in my trailer bingeing Luke Cage.
EXT. BACK AT RIVERSONG

SOCO-81 and DNASHOBVIOUSLY are attempting to train the townspeople in NOT GETTING MASSACRED.

SOCO-81
Alright people, we've set up some targets. Fire!
TOWNSPEOPLE
(blow off own feet)
SOCO-81
Aren't over half of you guys, like, farmers? Don't you own rifles for taking out wildlife and poachers? This is comically useless. Dnashobviously, show them how it's done!
DNASHOBVIOUSLY
I... cannot! Despite my fearsome reputation as a marksman, I am now wracked with guilt. I don't even want to fire a gun anymore. Come to think of it, why did I even agree to be here?
SOCO-81
Look, just try and fail to shoot the target, so that later on, you can dramatically succeed and-
DNASHOBVIOUSLY
(picks up gun and annihilates target)
SUCH GUILT
(mopes off)
SOCO-81
Huh.
SPOOKY33
Right, if we can't turn the townsfolk into an elite sniper squad in a matter of days, we may need other ways to defend this place. Thoughts?
MYKEE
I have some ideas... I mean, how A-Team do you wanna go with this?
SPOOKY33
I'm okay with tripwires, trenches, even some simple mechanical traps. But no improvised cabbage-firing machines or any of that later-seasons stuff. Sound good?
KYOGRE
Sure. Hey, maybe we should steal all of Kathy's dynamite, that might help.
The GANG ride into KATHY'S MINING SITE and kill all the dudes guarding it and take all her dynamite.

SOCO-81
Wow, that surprise-attack, take-it-to-them strategy really worked! Maybe we should keep doing that instead of digging in and waiting for overwhelming numbers to come kill us.
SPOOKY33
(eeeeever soooo sloooowly tilting his head upwards, half a degree per minute, until his magnetic eyes are juuuust baaarely visible past the imposing brim of his EXTREMELY SUPER-DUPER COOL cowboy hat)
Nah.
INT. SALOON - LATER THAT NIGHT

The MAGNIFICENT SEVEN sit around to DRINK and BOND since at some point they are supposed to care about each other and we haven't really set any of that up.

SOCO-81
So my character's supposed to be Irish or whatever?
SHRED
Oh hey, let's try and figure out which of us is REALLY a robot!
SPOOKY33
That's Westworld
SHRED
Dude, I know. Westworld is WAAAAYYYY more interesting than anything WE'VE got going on right now. I heard about this two timelines theory-
DNASHOBVIOUSLY
I can't do this! I'm bailing on everyone! Yup, won't be seeing ME again! Goodbye forever!
(leaves)
MYKEE
Gosh. Do we want to react to this, or is it SO painfully obvious he's coming back, that why bother?
SOCO-81
(thinks)
I'm gonna say... Kyogre's the robot.
EXT. BIG SHOWDOWN DAY

As promised, KATHY shows up with her bazillion evil dudes, at the exact day and time she told the townspeople to expect them.

SPOOKY33
Kids, quick, into the cellars! Hide yourselves! Why did we wait until right now to do this?
KATHY
I have an ultimate weapon, but why jump straight to that. First, the charge of uselessness! Off you go!
Most of KATHY'S MEN charge towards the town on horseback! They CHARGE and CHARGE and CHARGE MORE!! BOY DO THEY EVER CHARGE!!

MYKEE
Heh heh, they're in for a surprise when they hit those trenches we dug!
JESSEREBEL
They sure are... wait a sec, are we INSIDE the trench? What?!? Our plan is to shoot from here where we can't retreat?!
MYKEE
Why would we not simply let the horses fall into the trenches and then pick off the riders from nearby cover?!? Who made this stupid plan?!
Meanwhile the evil guys are STILL CHARGING BECAUSE WE GOTTA BUILD THIS UP!

SOCO-81
Well my part of the plan is super sneaky and clever. I stand inside this shed and then walk out and shoot people.
FINALLY the baddies get close enough and BATTLE IS JOINED! The MAGNIFICENT SEVEN start MOWING THEM DOWN LEFT AND RIGHT!

KYOGRE
Wow!
MYKEE
Yeah, I just have to aim at somebody and they fall dead!
SOCO-81
(doing windmill arms)
You guys are AIMING?!
SPOOKY33
Not me. I'm just emptying my gun into the ground and killing 10 guys with each shot.
SHRED
I'm at least using knives which requires a minimum of effort...
But it turns out KATHY has an EVIL COMANCHE in her crew, who kills MYKEE!!

CHERRY
I'll avenge Mykee's death hahaha no obviously that's switza's job.
SWITZA obligingly kills EVIL COMANCHE!

DNASHOBVIOUSLY
I'm back everybody! Try to act astonished!
KATHY
It seems my staggering number of hirelings is no match for this handful. But I have a surprise for them... my ultimate weapon! Ho ho, there's no way you could ever predict-
SPOOKY33
Is it a Gatling gun?
KATHY
Um...
SOCO-81
Because it IS ALWAYS a Gatling gun. Please tell me that we could maybe go another direction? Just this once?
KATHY
...It's a Gatling gun.
The GATLING GUN opens fire SHREDDING most of the town and killing DNASHOBVIOUSLY and SHRED!!!

SPOOKY33
Kids, women, flee to safety!! Seriously, this assault was scheduled, why are these people not miles away already?!?
SOCO-81
I'm gonna go after the Gatling gun! Cover me!
(rushes forward)
(is shot)
Arrrghh! Must... continue...
(shot again)
BLRRGHH keep... going... forward...
(shot 13 more times)
ARRRGHH cannot... fail...
(impaled by elephant tusk)
OUUCHIEE just... enough... strength.. to...
(dunked in acid)
OOF must... reach...
(torn apart by wolves)
YOIKSS townsfolk.. depending... on...
(crushed by runaway steam train)
OWWWW can I... just have... a cigarette...
BAD GUY
Dude. ONE bullet from any of you sends our mangled corpses flying thirty feet backwards. This is some bull right here, but sure, have this open flame, mere feet away from our unstoppable weapon. Why not.
SOCO-81
A-ha... I have... dynamite! Should have finished me off... instead of letting me stall... by rambling on and on! Looks like this time prattling... beats Gatling!
SOCO-81 BLOWS UP both HIMSELF and the GATLING GUN! Back in town, KATHY and SPOOKY33 face off.

KATHY
It's just you and me now, Spooky33. The final showdown. The ultimate confrontation. The epic conclusion to-
SPOOKY33
While you were talking I shot you ten times.
KATHY
Well even the most ineffectual villain can still try the old concealed-backup-gun trick...
CHERRY
Not so fast!
(shoots Kathy)
Hey, I did something! Yay for me!
SPOOKY33
(evvvver soooooooo slooooooowly tilting his head upwards, with the measured pace of eroding rock, until his fierce, harsh, magnetic eyes are ONLY THE TINEST, BARELY MEASURABLE DISTANCE POSSIBLE, LIKE YOU'D NEED AN ATOMIC MICROSCOPE CRANKED UP TO ELEVEN visible past the imposing brim of his INCREDIBLY GOD-PWNINGLY cool cowboy hat)
Thanks.
JESSEREBEL
Hurray, our decimated, shot-up town is safe again!
KYOGRE
And it only cost Soco-81, Dnashobviously, Shred, and Mykee their lives. And can I point out Spooky33 does not have ONE SCRATCH on him? Like, his suit's not even dirty.
SWITZA
So the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Comanche guy survived! That's a break from tradition, at least.
SPOOKY33
Yup. Progress, baby!
(grins, gives thumbs-up)
CHERRY (V/O)
And so they rode out triumphantly, utterly ignoring the crumpled bodies of their dead friends, having murdered a bunch of dudes because we paid them to. In other words... they were MAGNIFICENT.
Over the END CREDITS we get a rousing rendition of ELMER BERNSTEIN'S "MAGNIFICENT SEVEN" THEME, which earworms the AUDIENCE and pretty much obliterates any lingering memory of JAMES HORNER'S LAST EVER FILM SCORE.

END
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:40 pm

Hmm lol <3
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:51 pm

T.ears you suck.

My character was admittedly spot on though rofl. Kathy killing my husband and me doing nothing until the end haha.
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 7:51 pm

rendeer
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 8:28 pm

I agree that was better lmao
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PostSubject: Re: Naughty Boy switza   Wed Mar 01, 2017 9:11 pm

Yay I survived
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