Mickey the Moose has just found that his longtime partner is leaving him for the hottest moose in town. If anger truly did turn you boiling hot red, it's safe to say that Mikey's rage would of melted the lands snow and ice and put us into a global panic. Luckily for us though, this is a story about a moose and a goose and not a story about a moose that resembles powers that could see him join the X-Men.
Mickey wasn't the brightest moose in the herd. He also wasn't particularly the most athletic, Mickey suffered from some mild Asthma which often made him slow and grumpy. Mickey also wasn't the bravest moose, which might explain why he went the route he did after he found his wife Minnie was leaving him.
After being kicked out of their small hut, Mickey travelled up the steep hill. His asthma quick on his toes, his rage not doing much to help him apart from curse "that motherfucking sleazy moose" over and over.
SMACK a feathered wing comes crashing into Mickey's cold face.
There he saw, a goose, not a particularly well kept goose. This goose looked disheveled and...annoying looking.
"What you lookin' at ya big waste of space" the goose hissed in an accent that can only be described as a young Steve Buscemi. Eyes bulging and all.
"Nothing" Mickey mumbled moving on up the hill. His asthma now wheezing through the trees with every step.
"Hey, where's ya squirrel friend" the Brooklyn accent honked.
"Excuse me?" Mickey retorted.
"Ya' know what I mean? Your friend Rocky. Ya know, like Rocky and Bullwinkle"
"Haha very funny" Mickey said with not a single ounce of enthusiasm.
"Well, it's not my best but I mean I thought it was pretty aMOOSEIng"
By this point it's clear that Mickey isn't going to be alone for that much longer. No, not in that sense. This isn't a story about romance and it's certainly not a story about a Moose and Goose falling in love and having cross-breed babies. If you want a story like that, I suggest you maybe look in the mirror and take a long hard look at yourself.
"So big fella tell me what your name is. I'm assuming it's probably not Bullwinkle"
"It's Mickey"
"So let me get this straight, which by the way I am totally straight and not chatting you up. But you're telling me your name is Mickey?"
"Yep that's right" Mickey was getting his breath back.
"So your parents named you Mickey. Mickey the Moose? If they were Scottish they would maybe get why what I'm trying to say" Sniggered the Goose who's Brooklyn accent wasn't breaking anytime soon.
Mickey stood there dumbfounded to what was so funny about his name.
"Well what's your name? Gary the Goose?" he replied thinking it was the funniest line ever. Remember, Mickey isn't the funniest guy in the room and his not going to start anytime soon.
"Don't worry what my name is. The real question is, I'm here to help you. If gooses are geese, would moose be meese?"
"What are you exactly getting at?"
"What am I tryna say is, correct me if I'm moosetaken, but you need this gooses help..."
"Perhaps" mickeys eyebrow raised a sharp edge.
"My mind is telling me eh, you mighta wanta someone back?"
"No. I don't want anyone back"
"I meant, you might wanta get someone back?"
"Now you're talking"
"Okay here's what we are gonna do"
And like that, the crafty goose huddled close to Mickey the Moose and they hatched a plan (not an egg) a plan of that similar to a Regina George scheme. Not as serious as a new Donald Trump law or anything (#notafanoffthewall).
Minnie the Mooses new bae and Moose of the house is watching his favourite show, Moose in the Middle. Hearing a knock and honk at the door, he pulled up his pants and answered the door.
It was the goose, but the goose wasn't a lone. Oh no. He had brought a Canadian with him who carried a gun and before the moose had time to run, he shot him down in 3, 2, 1.
Luckily for Minnie the Moose, she was no where to be seen and it turned out she was in moosemart buying some chocolate tajine. Now I know this has turned a little obscene but the writers were stuck, if you know what I mean.
The Goose was never seen again, but it's thought he is an angel from the heavens ahead. As for Mickey he started to make chocolate moose, and even began to write a book. We are sure his book will be better than this, but we had 24hours to write this fucking script.
*WINDOW SMASHES OPEN AND THE BROOKLYN GOOSE FLIES THROUGH*
"Why the fuck have you turned into Dr. Zeus?!?" He screams
"I honestly have no idea." I reply
"Just end this fucking story, and say good night. Pick a song to go out to, I'm sure it will be delight"
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